Black orchid toupee

Stevie Wonder’s half bald/half dread hair is gross.

Drag Me to Hell was FUN.

Interiors by Woody Allen is sooooooo gooooood.

My zucchini plants are CURSED.

My boyfriend’s farts are starting to smell like his older brother’s which smell like their dad. Not their dad’s farts, but their actual dad. He smells like a big fart sometimes. A fart that smokes cigarettes and eats ground beef. Butt he’s also really entertaining to be around so it’s worth the trade off.

Would you rather have 15 gold medals and the personality of Michael Phelps or zero gold medals and your own personality?


2 Responses to “Black orchid toupee”

  1. EEK Says:

    Gold medals + retirement. I would never feel the need to achieve again.

  2. EEK Says:

    I can’t believe you made it through the kitten scene.

    Drag Me to Hell is the best theater experience I’ve had this year.


    When the main character is trying to give away the button and she starts walking toward the old man in the restaurant, this woman in the audience yelled, “Aww hayll no! You selfish bitch, you deserve to be dragged to hell!”


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