Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Black orchid toupee

July 16, 2009

Stevie Wonder’s half bald/half dread hair is gross.

Drag Me to Hell was FUN.

Interiors by Woody Allen is sooooooo gooooood.

My zucchini plants are CURSED.

My boyfriend’s farts are starting to smell like his older brother’s which smell like their dad. Not their dad’s farts, but their actual dad. He smells like a big fart sometimes. A fart that smokes cigarettes and eats ground beef. Butt he’s also really entertaining to be around so it’s worth the trade off.

Would you rather have 15 gold medals and the personality of Michael Phelps or zero gold medals and your own personality?


Obama Hatin’ on Special Olympians

March 20, 2009

So, Obama can’t even spare Special Olympians. Someone needs to take him out into an alley and strike some sense into him with a pin. Or drill three holes into his balls. Something.

Dumb Ditty Dumb Ditty Dumb Dumb Dumb: President Bonehead, Redux

Oh my goodness. My stomach just sunk.  The Prez almost got through his interview with Jay Leno without a hitch and then he goes and makes a “Special Olympics” comment in regard to his BOWLING GAME?  PFFFFTTTT!

 Tomorrow morning I anticipate droves of Special Olympians who bowl a better game than Obama coming forward. I anticipate a “There Will Be Blood”-style showdown with a mustachioed, ass-kicking participant from the Special Olympics treating Obama like the scaredy cat little preacher boy.  Ain’t no Secret Service gonna be able to protect Obama’s milkshake, IT IS ON.

Even though I did not vote for Obama (Chigurh ’08!) I doo love the idea of having a President whose theme song is not:

“I’m a big kid, look what I can do.  I can wear big kid pants, too! And I can pull them off and on! Mommy, WOW! I’m a big kid now!”

Please tell me this didn’t just happen.  I wonder how long Rush Limbaugh will shake his tits at this.  Probably until they sag low enough to touch his  wiener. Until Rush titty-effs himself.

But people should shake their titties at this. This is such a disappointment! Obama is an ASS!  
Last time I felt like this was this one time
when KATEE SACKHOFF spoiled the ending of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!:

“The Road” is Giving Me Gas

March 20, 2009

It’s all of the pent up excitement.  

Viggo. “Proposition” director. Aileen Wuornos. OMAR from “The Wire”!!!!!!!!

I’m actually a little worried about Aileen’s part as it’s supposed to be expanded from the book version. Boo. We don’t need more ooey-gooey man-wife stuff.  I also heard that in the scene with the procession of bad guys, all the boy slaves are throwing beads off of the truck.  Maybe the boy will catch one, put it on, and become invisible?  Until this movie is released, guess I’ll just have to keep releasing. PFFFFFFTTTT.

At LEAST there’s talk of NATIONAL TREASURE 3 in the works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  !!!!!!!!!!!       !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!              !!!!!!!!!!!!           !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!                    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!           !!!!         !!!!!          !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!       

  !!!!!!!!!!!        !!              !!             !!!!!!!!!!!!            !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haircut like a clown

January 28, 2009

Jam of the year! 

I can only listen when Seth isn’t in the room cuz he’s sick of me playing this. Luckily for him, I don’t have a job so me and the cats listen to this all day while he’s at work. Sucka.